I'm not particularly fond of change. I like order and routine. For those who know me well, they know this about me. I don't like random things...like making a quilt without a pattern, or putting beads on a string to make a necklace in some random order...ick.
Recently, I've gone through a pretty big change...some may think "it's about time" while others just think I am plain nuts. Let me explain. Last week, September 18/09-at 21.5 months, Mattea weaned herself. She had slowly been weaning herself...we were down to only her morning feed. In the wee hours of that morning, I nursed her in the quiet. As I did, I thought that I should really appreciate this special time of bonding as I knew the end was in sight. The next morning, in the bustle to get to swimming she did not ask to nurse (I love her cute little "milk" sign - a double fist when she was really wanting to nurse). The next day she did not ask either :( Yes, I am sad about it. Mattea is our last baby, my last baby to nurse at my breast. I know some people think "just get over it", but I truly enjoyed nursing each of my children, despite some big and painful challenges (8 months of thrush with Benjamin, but I did nurse him for 18 months). I love that I was the only one to give them the nutrition they needed, the one they would reach for to comfort them, the way I could give them love as only a mother can do. I loved nursing and I miss it. This week, I've had moments of "why did I just not try one more time and keep going for a few more months?" - my plan had been to nurse her until 2. Sigh.
The flip side of Mattea weaning herself is that I am now free to eat whatever I chose. Dairy, eggs (although both are eaten under strict procedures in our home due to allergies) but wow, are they yummy. As I watched Grey's Anatomy this week, the best thing about it was eating chips and dip (my all time fave which I've not had for about a year!). I've also enjoyed simple things such as sour cream on a potatoe, real milk in my cereal (I just cannot get used to soy milk...blech), etc.
Change, I still don't like it!
5 comments:
Hugs to you Kim! It's okay to be done, and to NOT be happy about it. And, I don't think you're nuts...nor do I think it was "about time".
I just think you're a great mom.
Thanks Nicole...I appreciate your words of encouragement!
Kim I wish that I could have nursed all my kids until they were at least 1(Maxine was the longest and she quit nursing at 11 months her choice not mine)so for you to get this far with her is a blessing especially being this is your last baby. But she will always be your baby.
I understand your sadness at being done nursing. I experienced that with both my children - Karissa weaned herself at 11 months and I had to wean Kyle at 9 months b/c he wasn't getting enough, etc. I would have nursed both of them longer; but still probably not as dedicated as you were with having to make so many dietary changes while breastfeeding. Kudos to you and all the blessings on your baby! She is a sweetie:)
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