Today, I felt like a bad mom...a really bad mom. I know that I'm not, and I know what I did was right...but I still feel bad! Here's the deal...
Yesterday, Caleb stayed home from school saying that he was "not feeling well"...like he was going to throw up. I think he was just tired, but let him stay home. He rested and even slept in the afternoon. Today, he went to school. And, since it is Tuesday, it is Boy's Club night at our church. He came home after school and I had made them some really yummy smoothies...thinking that I was doing such a nice thing for my children. They all enjoyed them. Then I asked the dreaded question "does anyone have any homework?" Owen did not. Caleb did. Quite a bit, but reasonable given that he was not there yesterday. I'm not a huge believer in homework for grade 3 students but that is another story. Usually, my guys get some "technology" time right after school to help them unwind. This can be TV, computer, DS or Wii. I asked him to do his homework first and he balked. So, I told him I would give him "technology" for 15 minutes and then he needed to do his homework. I also told him that he would have to have his homework done if he wanted to go to Boy's Club...do you see where this is going? So, the timer bings, Caleb comes up and grudgingly does one of his sheets of homework. I tell him we can repeat this process, only this time he does not come up so nicely and chooses to shout at me (telling me he hates homework) and proceeds to NOT do his homework. I tell him one more time, that if it does not get done before Boy's Club, then he will be staying home. We eat dinner and after Ernie gets home, he too encourages Caleb to work on his homework. Again he chooses NOT to. Well, now it is time to leave and I take Owen to church. Caleb is screaming that it is not fair, that he hates homework and wants to go. I leave. He is crying, and it is breaking my heart but I know that he needs to learn this lesson. I get home after dropping off Owen, and picking up a few groceries. Caleb comes up to me weeping saying how much he wanted to go to Boys' Club. I tell him how I know that he likes it, but that schoolwork has to come first. I asked him if he had learned anything out of all this, and he told me that he learned that he has to do his homework...yeah, at least he learned something. Ernie told me that he finished his homework in 20 (yep, TWENTY) minutes. He could have so easily done it and then been able to go to Boy's Club. I really don't feel that I was being unreasonable, but it still hurts to have to teach your child those lessons.
OK, maybe I'm starting to feel better now. It will be interesting to see if this experience will be remembered in the future. Only time will tell...
Sorry for the long and wordy post, but somethings just have to be said!
4 comments:
How come the right thing is often the hardest thing to do as parents? Good job for sticking to your guns!
I think you did the right thing Kim. Hard to be a tough mom but sometimes you just gotta do it. You're not a mean mom, just a good one.
I know you are a great Mom! If he has learned his lesson, it will be worth it, I think. It is so hard when our kids don't choose the easier way but I guess I am that way too sometimes...
Its moments like those that help me understand the heartbreak God has for us when he watches us make the choices we do, and He needs to let us live with our choices even as we suffer the consequences...it breaks a parent's heart to watch a child weep, even if they created their own mess.
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